Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Stink Bugs: They're Baaaaaack!

Wonder what's going ON in this photo?

You're looking at the screen on one of our bedroom windows. 
The outside surface is covered in (insert string of expletives here) stink bugs. 

Note I said ONE window. 
The other three were equally abuzz, I assure you. 

If you read my previous posts, "Ten Scenes of Horror: Living with Stink Bugs" and "Our House- The All-Inclusive Stink Bug Resort," you already know our home is the mothership.

Now that the nights are getting colder and the crops are collected, stankin' spawn are making a beeline to hibernate in the warmth of our homes.
Like brain cravin' zombies...
they just know they need to get inside that house.

Once they've found the perfect resort (i.e. OUR HOME), they release an aggregation pheromone to attract others to join the freak show party.

So they wait on the screens,
on the barbecue grill
behind the dang siding
along the cracks of your windows and doors...
waiting to find any way to get INSIDE.

Go ahead and try to open that door to enter or exit your home.
That buzzing sound?
Spawn whizzing their way in.

And they'll make themselves right at home
in the walls,
in ductwork,
behind the pictures hanging on your walls.

How do we cope?

Aside from desperately attempting to seal every crack and crevice of our home, swearing uncontrollably and capturing (to murderously destroy) every spawn that crosses our path, I get sadistic kicks by doing THIS!
I flick you back to Hell, suckas!

Does screen flicking accomplish ANYthing remotely constructive?
Um...no. Not at all.
But it gives me immense satisfaction and relief.
Try it if you, too, have swarms on your screens this October. 
It feels so very good.

Die, defecating demons! DIE!

*This really isn't like me, I promise.
Usually, I'm a sweet and peaceful kinda girl.
I save spiders, for Pete's sake!
But stink bugs?
Stink bugs need to DIE.

End rant.
Good luck, fellow sufferers.

What are your coping mechanisms for living with spawn?

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