Thursday, May 23, 2013

Ten Scenes of Horror: Living with Stink Bugs

I've gotta preface this with a lil' something.

It's just that, well...I'm about to show you photographs that don't really paint our home in the ol' Better Homes and Gardens kind of light, you know?

Friends, please keep coming over, okay? I promise we're working on a solution to make the stink bug horror show stop.

That...or we're moving.
Our home is warm and lovely. Just don't look at anything too closely, 'kay?
stink bug trap
Our Internet find- an attempt to make homemade, soda bottle and light traps. Results-poor. We'll modify and get back to you. 
We live with stink bugs.
Our home is their mothership.

Or their toilet.
stink bug poo feces droppings
Poo trail in my family room. Oh, the allure.
When I posted, Our House- The All-Inclusive Stink Bug Resort (catch up here), I revealed the inside story of living with the little spawn who make me scream think foul things.

This post is an additional outcry, a battle cry against their POO! Poo be gone, I say!

Dear stink bugs,
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
stink bug problem
You'd think enclosed lighting would be ideal with stink bug invasions, but alas. They find ways in there to DIE. Ugh. Lighting is a challenge when living with spawn. 
They're unintelligent little buggers, but I'm telling you, people—they LITERALLY play music in our home. Stink bugs regularly slam into the guitars and banjos we have hanging on our walls and hit the strings. Ridiculous.
stink bug poo, feces, droppings, crap
Pooping on the blinds- less annoying to clean than curtains, but really.
And then they crap some more.
stink bug feces, droppings, crap
I have to wash curtains and bedding constantly, because stink bugs crap all over everything. We're thinking our next window treatments will be wooden shutters- easier to clean the poop. Again- ridiculous. 
 And more...
stink bug feces, poo, crap, droppings
That's a dripping dump, sliding on down our lamp. The charm and allure are riveting. 
You guys know I'm a mom of two lil' peanuts and a massive beast dog, too. So you know, I have enough (actual) sh@# to deal with in my everyday life.
Looks like we really have to give lighting fixtures serious consideration now.  Spawn love to die in the light.
But living here means I have to clean up after the countless spawn who have chosen to shack up with us and use our home as their...dumping ground. Ugh. 
I have to wipe down plants regularly- because you know...the crap and all. 
I promise that our home isn't as gross as it appears in these photos.
You's not like on the show Hoarders, where you'll find a dead cat among the filth.
Just dead stink bugs.
stink bug poo, feces, crap, droppings
Poop on one of the couches. I have to treat stains constantly. So foul.
It's a nice place, and clean.
Except for the stink bugs.
And their poop.
stink bug poo, crap, droppings, feces
Note the feces dripping down this picture frame. My apologies to my sweet sister, whose photo casing got dumped on. 
So this is where we're at these days.
It ain't easy livin' with spawn, but again—we get through it by being thankful they aren't ticks, rats or scorpions.

And once we figure out how to get rid of these foul little twerps, we'll be rich rich rich. Stay tuned...

Please feel free to drop me sympathies anytime. I'll take a break to read your thoughtful words between cleaning up the poo. That will be nice.

Sending you lots of love for a stinkLESS, crap-free weekend.
XOXO From My Hearth to Yours

And P.S.- see also Stink Bugs: They're Baaaaaack for more info.


Jenny said...

Totally feelin' for ya!! I especially hate when they poop, then leave their lingering scent which repulses me from the room. Lately, Willard has figured out that he can catch these guys, and loves to squeeze them (leaving his hands rancid). Great. Bummer the home remedy soda bottle didn't work. I'll keep a weather eye for good solutions.

Noelle Rae said...

UGHHHH!! Totally feel your pain! Last night sitting in the living room reading, i had one light on. And i caught about 20 of them in 30 mins....SO GROSS. Let me know about that light catcher...i was about to make one last night with christmas lights lol!!

Cally said...

B said our PLIGHTS are comparable. We're at our wit's end with these buggers. And their CRAP! I run around the house w a freakin' baby wipe, wiping up all the poo every day. It's ABSURD! We're working on serious trap ideas. Will report...and get rich. RICH, I tell you...RICH!

Chris said...

Cally, i'm laughing at the same time i'm grossed out! You have a way with words-- capturing the frustration and weirdness at the same time. This morning I just happened to look inside a cup of water I had set down earlier--- there was a stink bug in it! Sooo glad I happened to look before I drank! Yecch!
We "collect" our stink bugs by holding an empty wine bottle up to them. I don't know if it's the essence of vino that works, but they'll fall right into the bottle and can't get out and that way we don't have to touch them!

Cally said...

Oh,'s such a drag.

There are just so many here. They love our home. We collect them in old pill bottles- then freeze and compost them.

I'm the kind of weirdo that saves ad releases SPIDERS, but stink bugs just have to die. The infestation and damage to local crops is too much to tolerate.

Aaaaand we've invested in tons of lidded cups...because we share your grief there, as well.


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