Thursday, August 22, 2013

I've Got Beef with Tinker Bell

It kind of kills me that Tinker Bell is a kiddo favorite.

As much as lil' peanuts love the original 1953 movie, Peter Pan, that diva fairy belongs with the Mean Girls "Plastics" for sure. Tinker Bell is definitely NOT role-model material.

What's her problem anyway?
Parental neglect?
Inferiority complex?
For starters, that little sprite spends one of the movie's opening scenes stroking and adoring herself in the mirror before she humphs that her hips are getting too wide.

Tinker Bell, your body is slammin' (albeit ultra-petite), so get over yourself, girl. Really.

Vain Miss Thang then brattily lashes out at sweet, innocent Wendy, calling her "a big ugly girl."
Some people.

Our dear twinkle-toes has an attitude that is just stankin'!
Ratting out her man over jealousy, trying to murder innocent children- girlfriend has issues.
Maybe she's overtired from all that fluttering?
Fairy P.M.S.?
Low self-esteem.

Whatever. Homegirl is mean.
And crazy jealous—traitorous and self-absorbed.
She's the kinda girl who would freeze your bra at a sleepover.
Or drown you instead.

Gotta just feel sorry for grumps like that— the mean, vindictive ones, you know?

It must be hard for Tink to find a companion...with the size issues and all. She probably gets rolled over on all the time. 
Twinkling problems.
That or she's strung out on pixie dust. 
So what gives? How does Tinker Bell get named "the unofficial mascot of The Walt Disney Company" and "a symbol of the magic of Disney?"

I just don't get it.
Help me out here, people.
What's Tinker Bell's allure?

Who's YOUR favorite Disney character? 
I'd totally hang out with Cinderella and Belle. Now they're good people. I'm steering clear of grouchy sprites.

Have a magical day, friends!

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Noelle Rae said...

I never got that either...Belle is the best!!!

Sara C said...

Belle forever. I'm just sayin'...